She could not find her voice, despite the many questions lingering, so she nodded, glancing up at him, then away. Tall, clean-shaven, handsome. A stranger. The door opened further, the man stepped back, inviting her in with a gesture, silently smiling, knowing. Joyce, despite her many misgivings, gave in to her urge to enter, and did. Closing the door behind her, the man led Joyce to his living room, where he sat on the couch, kicking his feet up on the coffee table, further studying her as she stood just inside the room. He did not invite her to sit, so she stood, facing him, uncertain. ‘Do you know why you came here, Joyce?’ the man asked, studying her, making her feel small, insufficient. ‘I… I don’t know.’ Joyce replied, unable to maintain eye contact, blushing. ‘Focus.’ He said. And she knew why she had come. Her thoughts focused at his suggestion, the fog lifting, her purpose clear. Joyce approached, leaving her purse on the floor as she strode toward the coffee table. She. Maybe she had prompted the guys to call, or said something to make them do it. Over the past few days, she had only let her mind stray to darker places a few times. She knew that, for the guys, it was a joke, gussying her up like a girl. But what if it was a joke to Hannah, too? What if they sat around laughing at the silly idea, bonding even closer by means of her humiliation, sealing what she had so often feared and wondered about? That Hannah would bark out, with harsh laughter, ‘I’ve finally figured out what I want, and it’s not you! I want a real man!’ Dylan. Ted. Rob. Doing a better job to protect and care for her, with their college degree-fueled careers, doing a better job to fuck her with their real cocks, doing a fantastic job of getting her pregnant and giving her lots and lots of babies. She cried in the foreign, impersonal hotel room, because Hannah was somewhere nearby, but unaccessible, because, as Alyssa kindly reminded her and Marta remanded, ‘It has to be a surprise.
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